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[likewishes]

“ Some quote here. Leave a message. ”


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[promisedtolive]

I spoke to Euphy.

[likewishes]

...Exactly what did you speak to her about?

[promisedtolive]

Everything.

[likewishes]

"Everything" isn't specific enough, Suzaku.

[ Might be a slight edge in his tone. WHAT DID YOU DO. ]

[promisedtolive]

[ Increasingly emotionless. ]

The Requiem. Kingsley and your father's geass. FLEIJA.

[likewishes]

All at once!?

[ The "are you an idiot" should be implied here?

[promisedtolive]

It seemed like the best course at the time.

[likewishes]

How could that possibly be the best course of action at any time?

[promisedtolive]

Everything is out in the open now. I'm keeping fewer secrets from her. [ And by extension, so are you. ]

[likewishes]

It's not that which I consider questionable, Suzaku. I question the manner in which you spoke of it. The tone. Not to mention you likely didn't give her any time to process things before moving onto the next. That isn't the appropriate way to deal with it.

[promisedtolive]

I apologize for my tone, then. [ In that same dead voice. ]

I'm going to the Center to find some other housing.

[likewishes]

You know that isn't necessary.

[ Really. It's not. Don't be stupid. If Suzaku needs to get out then Lelouch has the room. Might mean they share though. ]

I just don't see why you had to go on and talk about these things to her without context. [ He knows you, Suzaku. You probably just made yourself out to be a villain without telling her anything about what was going on at the time. You can't fool him. ] It hurts her, and you, worse that way.

[promisedtolive]

[ A moment's pause. Then, more quietly: ]

The context is just an excuse. She never really knew me, before. Now, she does. She can't just keep saying it doesn't matter.

[likewishes]

Perhaps, to her, it doesn't. Haven't we both hit the point where intent is what ultimately matters?

She knows your heart and that's what mattered to her. It's what matters to Nunnally. In the end, you know that is what matters to you and I. How else could we have achieved what we have? You, like I, are robbing her. We're trying to force a choice that is out of our hands.

...Which I like less than you do. Believe me.

[promisedtolive]

If intent was all that mattered, we wouldn't have needed the Requiem, Lelouch. We could have faked your death and you could have lived the rest of your life with C.C. [ And, maybe, him, if he didn't have to be Zero. ]

[ And his heart is rotten, deep down. ]

[likewishes]

We didn't need it, Suzaku. They did. After all of this, do you really think we could have lived in peace? Can you honestly tell me that, after a year, something doesn't just itch under your skin?

[promisedtolive]

[ ... there's a really long silence after that. ]

I didn't realize I killed you in part to keep you from being bored.

[likewishes]

Stop. Are you really that determined to maintain that masochistic side of yours? Here, of all places, that it wouldn't do you any good?

If I have to deal with this mess, so do you. And frankly I don't think I can do it without you. So you're going to have to decide, Suzaku. Either step up or back off because like this you're pretty useless to me.

[promisedtolive]

[ Wow rude he's been a masochist since he was ten. It's like a security blanket.

Part of this is endlessly frustrating; he doesn't have the ability to make himself understood, and winds up more upset than he started.

Lelouch's rebuke stings, and just adds to the impotent feeling. But he focuses on the rest. Lelouch needs his help, and he pledged to give it. Even if neither of them knows what to do. Left to his own devices, he'll just self-destruct faster; he is self-aware enough to know that much. ]

I'm sorry. [ Back to sounding tired. ]

[likewishes]

This isn't exactly easy on any of us. I don't fault you for talking to her, Suzaku.

[ At least his tone is softer now? ]

You can stay with me, if you really want.

[promisedtolive]

I think that would be the simplest option. Thank you.

[ After a moment: ] Being alone is not the wisest choice for me right now. [ Even being vague feels like he's being incredibly selfish. So, quickly: ]

But I apologize in advance -- I'm not a quiet sleeper.

[likewishes]

No it most certainly isn't a wise choice for you to be left to your own devices.

[ Lelouch doesn't know if he is a good counter for it. But Nunnally is. It's not like Lelouch thinks of it as selfish anyway. ]

You forget that I don't really sleep.

[promisedtolive]

[ Very soft laugh. It's devoid of humor, but not as bleak as it could be. ]

I don't sleep much these days, either. I'm all right with the floor, if there's space.

[likewishes]

I'm not going to put you on the floor.

[ Don't be so dramatic. This is coming from Lelouch so think about that. ]

[promisedtolive]

[ sldkfjdslfkj he didn't think it was dramatic... ]

Sorry, I didn't know if you had other roommates. [ And he knows Lelouch wouldn't be so cruel as to offer to let him sleep in Euphy's room. ]